So it looks like it might be Portland - or maybe not? Perhaps my gut feeling that something is up w/ S is true. Week after week with no contact - then contract is signed we're going to Alabama - well, maybe it's w/ mega consulting P in Michigan - and then, well - would you consider going to Portland???
Let's see - can survive maybe another 3 months with this housepmt and no $$$ - so I guess Portland it is. Then - the nightmares start - 3 am and Sami wakes up screaming - which she never has done - what happens when I'm not there for her.
A quick run around the rooms in the house and Sierra winds up in the ER with stitches in her mouth. Who else could have been there, holding her, refusing to let the doc papoose her. No matter how close she is to her Daddy - it was me that she wanted. How can I be away from these two for 5 days a week for the next 6 months?
But then again, the phone call that was expected within minutes still has not come. What is up with that???
How is it that I am so tired of waiting for him to come through, yet I am not being more proactive myself. G keeps on telling me to take anything in our new city - oh no, I protest - this way I can get us back on even keel w/in 6 months. But honestly, do I really want to go away? Do I really want to do ANYTHING??
The frustration of dealing w/ this has me so blocked - I can't write, can't think, can't be a good mom. Something here has to give.
So universe, this is what I need:
Consulting - in the SouthEast - preferably Jax
6-8/day
Friday is travel day - w/ full pay
challenging
expandable - need at least 10 w/in 1yr
pref. working with DON - yes, I said it - G-D how I wish I hadn't screwed that one up!
House - sell it now!
Please let us get out of this house before the market goes any lower!!!
Ok God - I've learned my lesson, I will now be humble again. I've been brought to my knees and I ask what else must I experience before I can once again hoist myself up and succeed.
That's all I can do for now - please forgive these ramblings - I need the free association writing just to jump start something here...
